I haven't been in the habit of posting two days in a row, although that was certainly my original goal.
After last night's rant, however, I feel the need to post again. Yes, I needed to rant. For me, an occasional rant is cathartic. And I achieved the needed catharsis.
Today is better. Everything is better. The rain is gone. The chill in the air is gone. The Indian summer is here. We have blue skies and sunshine, and I'm a sucker for that combination.
Last night, and this morning, I figured out a way to juggle our finances so that we can do something with this Indian summer other than admire it. The husband has gotten a fair way into fencing the backyard. We had intended to do that a bit later, but the chickens made it an urgent priority. They weren't content roaming on an acre and a half. Oh no. They had to go into the neighbors' yards on both sides. Now, they cannot access the neighbor's yards, and they cannot access our front yard and front porch. This is a boon as we are not particularly interested in fertilizing the front lawn.
While the husband was working on the fence, I started on cleaning house in preparation for the mom's birthday. Tomorrow is her birthday, and we are going to have a mighty fine meal. As I said before, the husband is an expert at whipping up gourmet offerings on a very tight budget. Tonight, we're headed off to see the play Sylvia at Theater Shenandoah, and I'm really looking forward to it. The mom and I joined this theater just over a month ago, and we are very excited about the creative energy we've found in this valley.
Yesterday, I was sad over the fact that we aren't going to do anything really exciting on my mother's birthday. Today, I'm happy that I get to spend her birthday with her, and we all have our health back.
One thing is for certain - I do occasionally get down, but when my best friend describes me as "insatiably cheerful", she is not wrong, and I never stay down for long. Though we've run into a brief delay in terms of the business plan, we'll be right back on track come spring.
As I sit here watching our kitten, Spaz, live up to her name, and I gaze into the kitchen at the best husband in the world as he prepares some yummy pork curry, I am well aware that I have a very good life, and while it's perfectly okay to rant when things get me down, you won't find me wallowing.
I leave you with this: I Can See Clearly Now
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Rant
The last few weeks have been hard. Really hard. I know I can find people who have it much harder than me, but sometimes - like today - that's not enough to make me feel better.
And since the purpose of this blog is to show what it's like trying to succeed at a dream, I'm not going to shy away from the hard aspects. I'll sum up why it's been hard.
1. Our favorite chicken, named Bronson, died last week. He was one of only two that we named. He turned out to be a she, and we ended up naming her, briefly, after a good friend of ours who's name sounds remotely similar. It was sad. We gave her every chance, and she fought hard to live, and she seemed to be doing better. On the day she died, we found her lying in the path unable to move. We gave her a bit of water. The Husband, believing he was going to have to put her down, did some research to see if there was any last ditch effort that could be made. She died while he was researching.
2. Mom ended up in the emergency room for the sixth or seventh time in the last year. We believe she's developed an allergy to some insect that bites in summer. Not mosquitoes, but something along those lines in that it's generally harmless to most people. In my mother, it results in severe cellulitis. This translates to her swelling up in scary proportions wherever she's been bitten. This resulted in two doctor visits and two antibiotic prescriptions as well as injected steroids and three days of looking like some sort of alien being.
3. I have been struggling with feminine issues. It's never really possible to discuss this sort of thing without falling into the realm of TMI, but suffice to say that I have been bleeding a ridiculous amount with heavy clotting. Not conducive to getting anything done and costs extra money in feminine products.
4. Speaking of money - we don't have enough. We can foresee a time in the not to distant future when we will have enough, but it's been two years now of living hand to mouth, and I mean that literally. I juggle every month to make certain we can survive on what my mother is bringing home. Naturally, the house is taking forever to sell. I personally believe it won't sell until we don't actually need it to. Each time something unexpected comes up - even something that costs as little as a hundred dollars - we get completely thrown off our budget, and I'm left scrambling to make certain we don't owe ridiculous fees to those bottom feeders we have here in America - the bankers and the credit card companies. For my non-American readers, what I mean is that if I screw up the slightest bit, it will cost me, at minimum $35.00 per screw up. When you're already broke, a $35.00 ding makes it damn hard to catch up. It usually results in a spiral effect of more $35.00 dings, a vicious cycle that I've experienced in the past but managed to avoid this go 'round.
6. Today, the coffee maker broke. The car is leaking oil like a sieve. The chickens keep getting into the neighbor's yard. The toilets back up on a daily basis. The husband is having regular back trouble. I think that's everything, but yeah, it's piling up.
Finally, I tried to sell a couple items on eBay. I've heard about people who do this very successfully on a regular basis. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. And while I wouldn't normally be surprised or care, this time hit me rather hard. I had listed a painting that is currently worth about $2000 retail. So I listed it at $1000 with a buy it now of $1500. Whether or not I followed all the little tricks necessary to be successful - and I don't know if I did or not - well, obviously I didn't, because I wasn't successful. What got me was that someone was watching the auction. I got it into my silly little head that this individual was planning to buy the painting at the last minute. I even had little fantasies about them being a dealer and snapping up all of my other product as I listed it.
No. Such. Luck.
And Saturday is my mother's birthday. She's being a real champion and telling me that it's okay that we've had to cancel our plans. She's perfectly content sitting at home with me and watching a marathon of our favorite soap opera. And, on some level, I'm certain she really is content because she's thrilled to have me here in America. But she's turning 66 this year, and I'm really tired of her having to go without the finer things in life. Hell - I actually fantasize about being able to get a haircut or buy underwear when I need it.
So, yeah. I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Well, I should say I've felt sorry for myself today. I've spent the last four hours trying to get it together after that last disappointment, and I think this little rant ought to do the trick.
I will now head off to clean the kitchen. Then, my husband will make a fantastic meal out of inexpensive ingredients, and we will watch something entertaining on our projector, and tomorrow and will be another day, and we will succeed at this dream, and that's why I want a record of just how damn hard it was, because I have a tendency to forget when things are good. Not to mention, I've read a lot of success stories where they don't give the details of the hard stuff. I will just take this moment to be grateful that I'm not homeless and I don't have children relying on me.
And since the purpose of this blog is to show what it's like trying to succeed at a dream, I'm not going to shy away from the hard aspects. I'll sum up why it's been hard.
1. Our favorite chicken, named Bronson, died last week. He was one of only two that we named. He turned out to be a she, and we ended up naming her, briefly, after a good friend of ours who's name sounds remotely similar. It was sad. We gave her every chance, and she fought hard to live, and she seemed to be doing better. On the day she died, we found her lying in the path unable to move. We gave her a bit of water. The Husband, believing he was going to have to put her down, did some research to see if there was any last ditch effort that could be made. She died while he was researching.
2. Mom ended up in the emergency room for the sixth or seventh time in the last year. We believe she's developed an allergy to some insect that bites in summer. Not mosquitoes, but something along those lines in that it's generally harmless to most people. In my mother, it results in severe cellulitis. This translates to her swelling up in scary proportions wherever she's been bitten. This resulted in two doctor visits and two antibiotic prescriptions as well as injected steroids and three days of looking like some sort of alien being.
3. I have been struggling with feminine issues. It's never really possible to discuss this sort of thing without falling into the realm of TMI, but suffice to say that I have been bleeding a ridiculous amount with heavy clotting. Not conducive to getting anything done and costs extra money in feminine products.
4. Speaking of money - we don't have enough. We can foresee a time in the not to distant future when we will have enough, but it's been two years now of living hand to mouth, and I mean that literally. I juggle every month to make certain we can survive on what my mother is bringing home. Naturally, the house is taking forever to sell. I personally believe it won't sell until we don't actually need it to. Each time something unexpected comes up - even something that costs as little as a hundred dollars - we get completely thrown off our budget, and I'm left scrambling to make certain we don't owe ridiculous fees to those bottom feeders we have here in America - the bankers and the credit card companies. For my non-American readers, what I mean is that if I screw up the slightest bit, it will cost me, at minimum $35.00 per screw up. When you're already broke, a $35.00 ding makes it damn hard to catch up. It usually results in a spiral effect of more $35.00 dings, a vicious cycle that I've experienced in the past but managed to avoid this go 'round.
6. Today, the coffee maker broke. The car is leaking oil like a sieve. The chickens keep getting into the neighbor's yard. The toilets back up on a daily basis. The husband is having regular back trouble. I think that's everything, but yeah, it's piling up.
Finally, I tried to sell a couple items on eBay. I've heard about people who do this very successfully on a regular basis. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. And while I wouldn't normally be surprised or care, this time hit me rather hard. I had listed a painting that is currently worth about $2000 retail. So I listed it at $1000 with a buy it now of $1500. Whether or not I followed all the little tricks necessary to be successful - and I don't know if I did or not - well, obviously I didn't, because I wasn't successful. What got me was that someone was watching the auction. I got it into my silly little head that this individual was planning to buy the painting at the last minute. I even had little fantasies about them being a dealer and snapping up all of my other product as I listed it.
No. Such. Luck.
And Saturday is my mother's birthday. She's being a real champion and telling me that it's okay that we've had to cancel our plans. She's perfectly content sitting at home with me and watching a marathon of our favorite soap opera. And, on some level, I'm certain she really is content because she's thrilled to have me here in America. But she's turning 66 this year, and I'm really tired of her having to go without the finer things in life. Hell - I actually fantasize about being able to get a haircut or buy underwear when I need it.
So, yeah. I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Well, I should say I've felt sorry for myself today. I've spent the last four hours trying to get it together after that last disappointment, and I think this little rant ought to do the trick.
I will now head off to clean the kitchen. Then, my husband will make a fantastic meal out of inexpensive ingredients, and we will watch something entertaining on our projector, and tomorrow and will be another day, and we will succeed at this dream, and that's why I want a record of just how damn hard it was, because I have a tendency to forget when things are good. Not to mention, I've read a lot of success stories where they don't give the details of the hard stuff. I will just take this moment to be grateful that I'm not homeless and I don't have children relying on me.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Delays
I'm sitting in my office, which is currently doubling as an isolation room for Spaz while we clear her (that's right, it turns out Spaz is a girl) up from ear mites, a bacteria I can't pronounce that is common to chickens and round worms. it will be another week or so before we can introduce her to Gracie, but she is such a sociable little thing that I'm spending some time in here with her.
And I'm reflecting.
As per usual, none of our plans are going smoothly. The situation is such that we are moving slower on the actual start of the business. Our house in Australia has not yet sold. When it does sell, we have to jump on a plane and go down there to remove our stuff and attend the closing.
We considered the idea of a small loan to begin the business here, but it really would be scrambling, and all of us agree that we want to get this business started on the right foot, because we want our first contact with the public to be memorable for how awesome we are, not because we weren't organized. On top of that, it is spring in Australia, and that is usually time when houses sell. So if we get a loan and the house sells, we will have gotten a loan for no reason.
I considered getting a part time job, but Mom and the husband are opposed to this idea and wold prefer to see me spending my time writing. It makes sense, because we are living in a very small town and sharing a car. it is very difficult however to sit in this lovely house, see all the projects we want to do and know that most of them cost money.
Why am I sharing this? Because too often, we hear success stories that don't go into the details of what it's like to sacrifice, take risks and prevail. We are working to keep the risk minimal, and we therefore have to make some sacrifices in the short term.
For the record, all three of us have made much greater sacrifices in the past five years than we are currently. My husband and I lived in a house that was being renovated for two years - two years that started with the world's worst bushfire, which delayed our plans to finish the renovation by a lot. So I can't really say it's a sacrifice to sit in my nicely furnished home with all my needs met and a few perks.
it is worth mentioning in this blog only because our time frame for beginning the business has changed.
In the mean time, we are focusing on yard work, eating well on a budget, raising a kitten, taking care of chickens and getting in shape.
Ironically, this has resulted in even more creativity in the kitchen from the Husband. We are even reconsidering what product we will be selling when we hit the festival circuit, so it's probably a good thing I haven't given out details of the product yet.
I also have more time to devote to my writing and to getting involved with the local theater group.
I'll finish up here as Spaz is determined to help me write this blog, and I do not want it to disappear on me.
And I'm reflecting.
As per usual, none of our plans are going smoothly. The situation is such that we are moving slower on the actual start of the business. Our house in Australia has not yet sold. When it does sell, we have to jump on a plane and go down there to remove our stuff and attend the closing.
We considered the idea of a small loan to begin the business here, but it really would be scrambling, and all of us agree that we want to get this business started on the right foot, because we want our first contact with the public to be memorable for how awesome we are, not because we weren't organized. On top of that, it is spring in Australia, and that is usually time when houses sell. So if we get a loan and the house sells, we will have gotten a loan for no reason.
I considered getting a part time job, but Mom and the husband are opposed to this idea and wold prefer to see me spending my time writing. It makes sense, because we are living in a very small town and sharing a car. it is very difficult however to sit in this lovely house, see all the projects we want to do and know that most of them cost money.
Why am I sharing this? Because too often, we hear success stories that don't go into the details of what it's like to sacrifice, take risks and prevail. We are working to keep the risk minimal, and we therefore have to make some sacrifices in the short term.
For the record, all three of us have made much greater sacrifices in the past five years than we are currently. My husband and I lived in a house that was being renovated for two years - two years that started with the world's worst bushfire, which delayed our plans to finish the renovation by a lot. So I can't really say it's a sacrifice to sit in my nicely furnished home with all my needs met and a few perks.
it is worth mentioning in this blog only because our time frame for beginning the business has changed.
In the mean time, we are focusing on yard work, eating well on a budget, raising a kitten, taking care of chickens and getting in shape.
Ironically, this has resulted in even more creativity in the kitchen from the Husband. We are even reconsidering what product we will be selling when we hit the festival circuit, so it's probably a good thing I haven't given out details of the product yet.
I also have more time to devote to my writing and to getting involved with the local theater group.
I'll finish up here as Spaz is determined to help me write this blog, and I do not want it to disappear on me.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Cats Galore!
It all started before the Husband and I got here. Two cats showed up on the porch last winter, and Mom felt sorry for them, as it was a very cold winter, so she began feeding them. By summer, two kittens had joined the party, and she found herself feeding four cats.
We arrived and liked the idea of cheap pest control, so we continued feeding them. The male cat briefly considered hunting the chickens, and while a warning shot from our air rifle did not dissuade him, three angry Rhode Island reds, each of which is larger than this male cat, convinced him that they were not going to be easy prey.
Things continued in this fashion for about six weeks. Last weekend, we decided to walk the property and prioritize the improvements we wish to make. For example, the chickens have taken over and love spending their time digging around the front yard right in front of the porch -- right where I wish to plant some pretty flowers. Also, while chicken poop is a fantastic fertilizer, I'm not much interested in having it sprinkled liberally all over the front porch. To top things off, they've gotten it in their heads that the cat food and the cat water dish are theirs.
This made me realize that it would be fruitless to start a vegetable garden when the chickens are likely to dig it up and trample the seedlings. However, the benefits of allowing them to be free range far far out weigh the need for caging them up. That said, nine chickens will do just fine on three fourths of an acre. They don't need the whole acre and a half. This led us to our first priority of fencing in the yard.
We walked to the back of the yard, about a third of which is covered in woods. It's nice having a patch of forest, but it's so dense and overgrown that it's of no use to us in its current state, so we intend to clear out the undergrowth and keep the large trees, thus making fencing an easier process.
As we returned from our walk to the bottom of the yard which is at the bottom of a thirty degree grade hill, we noticed four new kittens investigating the chicken coop and eating the chicken feed. None of them could have been more than six to eight weeks old, and they were really adorable - two gray and two ginger in color. We decided to give them a nice bowl of milk and contemplate the possibility of having eight cats living under the front porch. Not a possibility any of us was in favor of.
After checking with the neighbors who weren't home, we decided that if they continued to hang around, we'd see about getting them fixed and adopted. We sat on the front porch, enjoying a nice beer and watching the two ginger kittens, who'd followed us, playing and generally looking adorable.
The following morning, the husband opened the front door to find that one of the ginger kittens had remained behind. Of all the cats that have been hanging around the place, this one is the friendliest. He's also fearless. He wanted to eat some of the cat food, and the other cats were not interested in sharing. In particular, the mother of the other kittens decided to stake out her territory. This ginger kitten, who sits easily in the palm of my hand, threw his back up in the air and dared her to take him on. She backed down and allowed him to eat.
Then he came over to us and set his mind to being so adorable we couldn't resist him. He succeeded. Tomorrow, I take him to the vet to get his vaccinations and make sure he doesn't have anything my other cat could catch, and then I will slowly introduce the two. My other cat - Gracie - is a twelve-year-old Maine Coon (not pure), and thus very large. She also hasn't had any company since her brother passed away two and a half years ago, and she likes it that way. But this kitten is so friendly and just wants to be loved and I'm thinking Gracie won't be able to resist him any more than we were.
The husband fell for the kitten first, and he came up with the name of our new little family member. I present you with Spaz:
We arrived and liked the idea of cheap pest control, so we continued feeding them. The male cat briefly considered hunting the chickens, and while a warning shot from our air rifle did not dissuade him, three angry Rhode Island reds, each of which is larger than this male cat, convinced him that they were not going to be easy prey.
Things continued in this fashion for about six weeks. Last weekend, we decided to walk the property and prioritize the improvements we wish to make. For example, the chickens have taken over and love spending their time digging around the front yard right in front of the porch -- right where I wish to plant some pretty flowers. Also, while chicken poop is a fantastic fertilizer, I'm not much interested in having it sprinkled liberally all over the front porch. To top things off, they've gotten it in their heads that the cat food and the cat water dish are theirs.
This made me realize that it would be fruitless to start a vegetable garden when the chickens are likely to dig it up and trample the seedlings. However, the benefits of allowing them to be free range far far out weigh the need for caging them up. That said, nine chickens will do just fine on three fourths of an acre. They don't need the whole acre and a half. This led us to our first priority of fencing in the yard.
We walked to the back of the yard, about a third of which is covered in woods. It's nice having a patch of forest, but it's so dense and overgrown that it's of no use to us in its current state, so we intend to clear out the undergrowth and keep the large trees, thus making fencing an easier process.
As we returned from our walk to the bottom of the yard which is at the bottom of a thirty degree grade hill, we noticed four new kittens investigating the chicken coop and eating the chicken feed. None of them could have been more than six to eight weeks old, and they were really adorable - two gray and two ginger in color. We decided to give them a nice bowl of milk and contemplate the possibility of having eight cats living under the front porch. Not a possibility any of us was in favor of.
After checking with the neighbors who weren't home, we decided that if they continued to hang around, we'd see about getting them fixed and adopted. We sat on the front porch, enjoying a nice beer and watching the two ginger kittens, who'd followed us, playing and generally looking adorable.
The following morning, the husband opened the front door to find that one of the ginger kittens had remained behind. Of all the cats that have been hanging around the place, this one is the friendliest. He's also fearless. He wanted to eat some of the cat food, and the other cats were not interested in sharing. In particular, the mother of the other kittens decided to stake out her territory. This ginger kitten, who sits easily in the palm of my hand, threw his back up in the air and dared her to take him on. She backed down and allowed him to eat.
Then he came over to us and set his mind to being so adorable we couldn't resist him. He succeeded. Tomorrow, I take him to the vet to get his vaccinations and make sure he doesn't have anything my other cat could catch, and then I will slowly introduce the two. My other cat - Gracie - is a twelve-year-old Maine Coon (not pure), and thus very large. She also hasn't had any company since her brother passed away two and a half years ago, and she likes it that way. But this kitten is so friendly and just wants to be loved and I'm thinking Gracie won't be able to resist him any more than we were.
The husband fell for the kitten first, and he came up with the name of our new little family member. I present you with Spaz:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)